Elizabeth Ann VanderHeyden

2009 is kicking my ass so far. I can practically feel my skin toughening and see that wall building itself right back up. Wonderful.

Is it okay for anyone to add their two cents? If I don't ask for your advice/input, I don't want it.
If you can only be an asshole to me, I will be a bitch to you. Stop mocking me and maybe we can start having normal conversations again.

Tell me that Memphis really isn't the shithole of America, because that's all I've heard about it. I'm driving there with Gwyn in March for So You Think You Can Dance auditions. Having the biggest cheapskate ever as a sister kind of sucks sometimes.

Just don't talk to me.

They're even more beautiful in person.


Probably gained ten pounds from the last few days. It's not my fault that there's a plethora of cookies staring at me everytime I'm near the kitchen. But it's okay, I had a really good Christmas.

WHY WON'T ANYONE FUCKING HIRE ME??? I am not thankful for this economy.

A. Like lots of people already said, I'm so so proud of America today. I never thought I would EVER bring myself to say that, but I really am for the first time ever.

B. I think I'm going to do a 180 and major in marketing instead of sociology or social work. I'm going for something a little less abstract. I'm good at being heartless when I need to be, and not the other way around. I'm going to drop out when I'm asked to backup dance for Britney Spears, anyway.

C. My boyfriend leaves in less than a week.

Good news: I had an amazing, amazing, amazing weekend in Chicago. Doing not much else besides dancing was really humbling. But I of course now have these pretty crazy dreams of being a dancer. Shit, I really should give it a try, especially next year when I actually audition instead of not doing so because my team is apathetic. I went to school yesterday but all I did was daydream & wish I was taking another class with Tony Testa. Haha. I forgot to set my alarm for today, so I just didn't go at all.

Bad news: Let's talk about me getting a little emotional over some of the comments to Ashley's last entry. I never realized how frustrating it is to explain to someone of wealth why my mom is unemployed because of being injured on the job, or why my dad is a fucking garbage man even though he went to college. Yeah, that's right, my dad who went to school for business now takes your trash to the dump because of the shit opportunity out there. It's frightening, really. I'd like to think it's because he's just lazy, and maybe it is. But the point is that I have not heard John McCain mention the middle-class once, while I feel like Barack Obama has actually been in a similar situation. I'm sick of my family struggling and I'm sick of my friends' families struggling because of the greedy motherfuckers running this country. Time for some change, plz.

I am on the top of the world right now. Me? On a professional hip hop team? No way! Yeah way! Ah! Me on America's Best Dance Crew??????????? Maybe!

Good thing my mom happened to see that flyer in the bookstore. Today has completely made up my mind about if things happen for a reason or not. What the fuck. Goodbye life; hello Monkey Wrenched.

Maybe?